i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my mouth tastes like poor choices
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
