I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
