What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
