Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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