I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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