apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
