I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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