i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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