my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
