I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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