Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
