He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
