i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
