cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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