Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
zippers are such a cool invention
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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