you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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