butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
