I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
