I think i peed on brittanys purse
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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