Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
