guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
