that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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