your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
