She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
