I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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