I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my shit smells like andre
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
