I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My ass is underappreciated
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
