i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
