he puts the penis in happiness.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
