so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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