We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
