i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
