Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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