Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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