i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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