its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
