THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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