I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
