He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
