Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
