After last night, I could never be a politician.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
