beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
