the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
