There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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