i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said her name was "party"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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