you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
