I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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