4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love having hate sex.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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