it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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