he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
